It was no secret among my family members and some of my friends - even among a few of my co-workers - that I was dreading the annual training retreat that was held this past week. This was my fifth such retreat, and while I look forward each June to a
women's retreat with which I'm involved, I'd come to suspect that this work event doesn't meet the definition of a retreat. I decided to look it up:
re·treat (ri-ˈtrēt)
noun
1 a (1): an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable (2): the process of receding from a position or state attained b (1): the usually forced withdrawal of troops from an enemy or from an advanced position (2): a signal for retreating c (1): a signal given by bugle at the beginning of a military flag-lowering ceremony (2): a military flag-lowering ceremony
2: a place of privacy or safety : refuge
3: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director
Well, definitions 1 b and 1 c definitely don't apply, and although it might be possible to argue that 1 a (2) fits the situation, I can't believe that the
goal of the event is to "recede" from the position or state we've already attained. I don't think that 1 a (1) works either - if for no other reason than what happens at the retreat is no less difficult or disagreeable than what happens at the office week-to-week; in fact, because it's more intense - 72 hours straight - one might argue that it is more difficult.
That takes us to definition 2, which also doesn't apply. The
lack of privacy at the retreat, in fact, is one of the things with which I struggle. Spending three days in a cabin - even a very large cabin - with 30 or 40 other people isn't exactly a situation that most introverts crave. Sleeping in bunks, sharing a bathroom, communal dining areas, little possibility of being alone with my thoughts - all of those things wear me out emotionally.
So what about definition 3? It
is a period of group withdrawal: each of us leaves home and our "normal" existence behind for the duration of the retreat. Without cell phone service or internet access, we are cut off from "real life." We aren't praying or mediating, but we
are giving and receiving training - so in that sense, I guess it's a retreat. It's not the definition of "retreat" that I'd particularly enjoy - but it
is a group withdrawal for the purpose of training.
Fortunately, this year's retreat turned out to be the best of the five I've attended. One co-worker who has attended nine of these said she also thought this one was the best. A first-timer told me she found the experience to be "life-changing."
So why was this retreat so successful - and so less stressful and taxing on me compared to my previous experiences? Here are a few observations:
- The agenda was adjusted as deemed prudent and more carefully adhered to than sometimes happens - which resulted in the elimination of the feeling that we were always running behind.
- Friday afternoon's guest speaker - a trainer from FranklinCovey - was insightful as well as funny. His presentation was a good break from the business of the organization, and although I've read both The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and First Things First, I received some new ideas for improving both my professional and my personal lives.
- My friend Sue encouraged me to get up early on Thursday and Friday to go walking - with the sole purpose of relieving stress.
- My friend Holly set a good example of going to bed early - even when others were just gearing up to watch a movie or play a game of cards. Getting adequate rest went a long way toward keeping me on an even keel.
- I didn't eat every snack or candy that was offered, focusing instead on getting some fruit and vegetables and protein at every meal.
- I gave myself permission to "retreat" if needed. For example, I had my MP3 player with me, so I could tune out the crowd - but I didn't end up using it; I packed The Host in my suitcase and read a bit of it; and I took some photos, which helped me focus on the beautiful setting. Emotionally, having those "escapes" was tremendously helpful.
Although I still think this particular event is one of the more stressful weeks of the year, I'm not dreading next year's retreat near as much as I was this time last year!